My Sanctuary

Recently I had a tooth extraction, necessitating a ban from diving for a month until the wound area heals sufficiently. Since I live in the Northeast and the “dive season” has started in earnest, I am particularly distressed that I can’t go underwater. Even worse, when I have a tooth implant placed this fall; recommendations include staying out of the water for 6 to 12 months! All of this news makes me reflect on the importance of scuba diving in my life.

Although I have always loved being in the water since I was a child, I didn’t take an official scuba certification class until I was in my mid-thirties. My first few experiences were not so positive. We almost got hit by an anchor thrown overboard by a reckless boater on my first open water dive. Shortly thereafter, my buddy had an air emergency which necessitated sharing air and doing a controlled ascent. The 44 degree water made me cold for 3 days afterwards, and I swore I would never dive in the Northeast again. The problem is, if you only dive on vacation, you never get enough experience to feel comfortable and confident in your skills.

Eventually I met some folks from an area dive shop who invited me to dive with them to obtain experience and I purchased the proper gear to stay reasonably warm diving in the chilly New England waters. What a difference it made! Instead of struggling on every vacation to learn anew my scuba skills, these skills are second nature to me now and are part of muscle memory. I trust my equipment because I own it and maintain it properly. I have found dive buddies whose style, interests, and philosophy of diving match my own. All of these things combined make for a better dive and make me a more competent diver. But why do I scuba dive at all? What is it about the sport that compelled me to spend countless paychecks on equipment, training, and dive boats?

Truly the underwater world is my sanctuary. As soon as my head disappears below the water’s surface, my world changes dramatically. While my breathing is quiet and not noticed on land, underwater it becomes a noisy rhythmic chant as the compressed air from my tank fills my lungs and then the bubbles are exhaled into the water. How often during our day are we that aware of our breathing? Underwater, you can’t ignore your breathing because it is the primary sound that you hear. For me, it has become a calming meditative sound. Couple the rhythmic breathing with a sense of weightlessness or “flying” through the water and it is magical, sensual, and fantastical all at the same time.

Diving has become my sanctuary…my place of refuge and safety. I quickly forget the rest of my cares and meditate to the sounds of my breathing in a weightless environment. I play with crabs, check for lobsters in the cracks and crevices, cruise over rocks and ledges, somersault with the seals, and enjoy the freedom of surrendering to this alien yet very inviting world. Is it because of our nine month gestation in the fluid-filled womb that I feel so at home here in the water? I have no idea, but for me diving has become an essential part of my life, health, and well-being. Until I can be in the water again, hopefully I will at least scuba dive in my dreams.

Cave Diving

I am a scuba diver and a certified cave diver. Many say that the sport of cave diving, per attempt, is the most dangerous sport in the world. When I first heard that statistic, my own jaw dropped wide open. If you had ever told me that I would learn and become passionate about "the most dangerous sport in the world", I would have said you were insane. Although I am (or have been) involved in several potentially dangerous activities such as firefighting, disaster medicine, urban search and rescue, skiing, and scuba, I really don't internally qualify them as being very dangerous. I suppose it is all a matter of personal comfort and mitigation of risk. Each of these activities has a set of "rules" to follow and equipment to wear that lessen the risk and provide a safety net.

Cave diving certainly stretches that safety net. Each cave diving student is taught the five common reasons why divers die in caves. Fatal accidents almost always involve the disregard of one of the five rules. In an overhead environment like a cave, one must learn to be self-sufficient, have redundant equipment, and remain calm at all times. Allowing panic to creep in will kill a cave diver quickly. There is no quick and easy way to the surface and the safety of the open water. Take a breath, assess the situation, and act.

Being a Paramedic is excellent training for cave diving, at least the mental part. A Paramedic must make quick decisions without a lot of extraneous information and remain calm in chaotic and emotionally charged scenes. Perfect grounding for the stress of the cave diving environment!

Truthfully, I never imagined that I would be a cave diver. My dive buddies were interested in taking a Cavern and Cave course 3 years ago and I agreed to give it a try although I was skeptical. I imagined tight spaces and dark closed-in tunnels underwater and that didn't sound fun or interesting to me. However, once I got into the caves of Florida and became challenged by the skills of the sport, I was hooked! Although there certainly are restrictive areas in a cave and the only light comes from the dive lights one carries, the limestone caves have exquisite beauty. There are embedded fossils, amazing rock formations, bones of animals, and adapted cave critters without pigment or eyes. But this is not what attracts me to the underwater caves.

So what is it about cave diving that makes me want to endure the risk of the sport? For me, it is all about living "in the moment". Much of our lives are spent thinking about 2 hours from now, 2 days from now, next week, or next year. We go through our days and weeks semi-conscious, numbed, and sometimes pitifully unaware of our environment. We drive to work unsure of whether that last traffic light was red, since we are on "auto pilot" when we are behind the wheel. In cave diving, you must be "in the moment", each moment. You must be aware of the flow of the water, the condition of the guideline, the whereabouts of your buddy, your position in the cave, your air supply, and the cave configuration. Lapses in attention can and WILL kill you or your dive buddy. Sobering. Engaging. Addicting.

It's hard to remain in the "here and now" in our everyday lives. Cave diving forces me to focus and stay grounded in the present. In its own way, the intensity of cave diving frees me from the burdens of my day to day life. I leave it all behind when I am in the cave. I have to leave it all behind. What a gift! I arise from the depths of the cave with a sense of freedom, as if I can start anew. Glorious.